Don’t Quit


I will not let You go unless You bless me!” (Genesis 32:26 NKJV)

I can honestly say that as long as I can remember I’ve never doubted that God was alive and well. I’ve never gone through notions as to whether or not God was out there somewhere; I’ve always been secure in my Salvation. But, that doesn’t mean that I haven’t had my fair share of fears. Every now and then my head’s been full of fears as to whether or not God remembers me. I’ve never been one for asking “is there a God?” Instead, on occasion, I ask “where are You God?” Being honest, I would describe my faith as being fearful.

Ask yourself?

What are your fears?  Write down absolutely everything you can think of.  Now, bring them before God. He wants you to share your struggles with Him.

About three years ago I felt a little lost; I felt like God had walked off and left me. There’s only one way to describe it- there was a “shift” in our relationship. I can still remember the day I sensed God pulling back. I was far from happy. Here’s how it is. Jesus is my best friend but sometimes it feels like someone else came along and got in the way. I thought that Jesus loved another kid more than me so He left to spend some quality time with them. I was heart-broken and helpless. Now I know that’s not the way it works but it sure felt like it at the time. It honestly did feel that one day Jesus took the notion to get up and go. It was then that I decided that I wouldn’t quit until I’d caught up with God.

Ask yourself?

Have you gone through a similar experience? Have you ever been left wondering “why?” It’s alright to ask questions, God understands.  Ask yourself this one- when you feel distance growing between you and God, what are you going to do about it?

This reminds me of Genesis 32:22-31, the story of Jacob wrestling with God.  Read the story for yourself before you listen to my ramblings.  The story starts during the night. When Jacob was alone a man came and wrestled with him until morning. When you’re feeling like God’s left you alone, fight to regain your relationship. When you’re in the darkness may it dawn on you that God’s light shines ever bright, even if you can’t see God’s working don’t be dismayed. He’s still there. As always. He will never let you go. What happened next was that when the man saw Jacob’s determination it dawned on him that he couldn’t defeat Jacob, so he struck him on the hip, putting it out of joint. Yes, wrestling with God isn’t easy. Prayer can be painful, but stick in there.

The story continues, Jacob refused to let the man go until he blessed him, “I will let you go if you will bless me” (Genesis 32:26 NCV). That’s the only option Jacob gave his opponent. We too should stick to it. Don’t give in and give up all too easily, if you push through the pain God will bless you abundantly. Never loosen your grip on God; show Him that you’re serious about Him and He will reward you. Just like Jacob you will receive a reward for allowing yourself to be driven by your doubts. Jacob walked with a limp for the rest of his life, but he was blessed. Your fears may never go away; mine never have. I still wrestle with God, but I’ve learnt to fight my fears. I would go as far as saying that I’m thankful that I’ve fears because they make me keep on coming back for more. I have this obsessive obedience that drives me on. When I can’t feel His Presence I won’t quit until I’ve come close.  I suggest you do likewise.

Think upon these things…

Don’t quit until you’ve caught up with God. Don’t give up the chase until you’ve come close. If you have a fearful faith, allow yourself to be driven by your doubts.


God, sometimes I let my fears get the better of me.  Help me to allow myself to be driven by my doubts.  I want to be driven deeper in my faith.  When I’m struggling I pray that I won’t pack it in…

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